Letting go is an extremely difficult thing to do especially when someone has done you wrong. When something happens to you and you have so much pent up anger against someone, the last thing you would want to do is forgive and let go. However, it is the best thing for you to do for your mental health and for you to move on. There is so much in your life, do not waste it by getting caught up in nothing.
You have to constantly be willing to move on
I want to tell you a little story about a recent event where I had to let it go several times. As a little side gig to make some money, I sell stuff on eBay, video games to scrapbooking materials to books to anything that I can find of value at a garage sale. I have been selling on eBay for a couple of years now and I have a 100% positive rating, which is really good and something I take pride in.
However, recently, one of my recent buyers complained about how the shipping was taking so long. As in, USPS had the package being shipped around to multiple states, but not to the assigned destination. Because it was on USPS, it was outside of my control; but the person made it out to be my fault by giving me negative feedback, asked eBay for a refund, and constantly made demands that I could not perform. After eBay refunded the buyer the money and the negative feedback ruined my percentage, I took a deep breath and decided to let it go. I was just going to wait to see if the package would arrive at the buyer’s home.
When the package finally arrived, I contacted eBay to appeal the refund and get my money back. I also contacted the buyer to ask for the negative feedback to be removed. The buyer responded with complaints. At this point, I was very annoyed with the buyer and decided to let it go. I told her to keep the item I sold to her free of charge unless eBay rules otherwise. She was happy that she got a free product and changed her negative review. Relieved at least, my rating was back to 100%, but I was still down a good chunk of money.
However, the next day, I received an email from eBay stating that they ruled in my favor for the appeal and that I was going to get my money back. I was very relieved and happy. Even though I was furious with this customer, I constantly moved on. It did not matter that I lost out on some money or that I had one negative feedback on my profile. Sure I was constantly annoyed when the events happened, but it was not constistent. Because I let it go, I was not full of stress constantly.
How to let it go
There are so many ways to calm you down, to move on, to forgive, and to ultimately let things go. The following are ways that I like to remove the stress from my body to the point that I am ready to move on.
- Take three deep breaths. Everyone probably knows this one, but taking slow, deep breaths help relaxes you. It calms your body, lowers your heart rate, and gives you something else to think about.
- Flex every muscle in your body and hold it for 5 seconds, then let it all go. Sometimes instead of immediately relaxing the body, I find it great to tense it all up just to let it go. This can really help in more situations than just being frustrated and moving on. I find it great for when I am nervous. I focus on flexing my muscles then relaxing them, but I am more relaxed afterwards.
- Move around, go for a run. You need to move. Moving helps you focus on other things and moving on.
- Accept that this happens for you to grow you. There are a lot of things that happen in life, but you need to realize that they are growing opportunities. You have the chance to become a better version of yourself if you accept what happened, learn, and move on.
- Focus on what you want in life and what brings you joy. Instead of focusing on the negativity and the event that you are stressed about, focus on what you want such as your dreams, goals, or your passion. By redirecting your vision, you will be less focused on the things that tear you down
Don’t let negative ruin your day and life
When I was trying to work with that customer on eBay, I was frustrated but only for a little bit. I took deep breaths and realized that my losses weren’t that much. In a year or two from now, I probably will not be selling anything on eBay, so what does it matter if I have ONE negative rating in a sea of positivity. Because I realized this, I easily moved on and let it go. It did not matter that the buyer was making unreasonable demands, because that buyer was only a small blimp on my radar.
It felt so good when I let it go. I was relieved and you can be so too. Do not get caught up in the little things and move on to what your dream is. Do not waste any time letting negative emotions eat you up on the inside. Let it go and look to see how much better you feel.