I want you to think about the last argument you had. Once you have that memory, was there ever a point in time where you and the other person calmly thought about the other’s perspective? Did you take a moment to be precise in your words? Did you make sure to articulate how you feel and what you want? OR did you scream and shout and tell the person that they are dumb and that your argument is better? Like most of us, we all like to be right. We also do not wait and we all do not truly listen to others in an argument. We love to scream and shout and be right. Because of this, we often have a mindset that it does not matter what the other necessarily thinks, because we are so focused on what it is that we think. And this is a problem. We need to take everyone’s opinion and think about it for a moment, then respond. Instead of arguing, we need to have a conversation.
Calm discussions grows your mind
Arguments can get heated, but calm discussions grow your mind for the better. Like many people, I have been in many arguments, but I thoroughly enjoy and prefer having a calm conversation with someone who sees the world differently than me. This is because I am searching to learn from others and see how others think. From my perspective, why have an argument of two aggressive opinions violently crashing together? Differences in opinions do not have to get to the point of screaming and crying. Instead of shouting about why another person is wrong, why not think about what they are saying? They might be technically right or they might be technically wrong? If they are right or just simply have a different take on a topic, then you learn something from the conversation. If they are wrong, then it strengthens your stance and what arguments might come against you in the future. Therefore, what do you have to lose if you just take the time and try to understand their argument?
Reduces your stress, bitterness, and more
After an argument, you just feel stressed, bitter, sad, resentful, and a whole laundry list of emotions. But why not feel happy and fulfilled? Why have all these negative emotions? There is no reason to stress your mind over one conversation/argument. People are literally impossible to convince especially when they have a strong conviction of something. One of my mentors once told me that “understanding rocket science is easy, while people are impossible to understand.” Do not get me wrong, rocket science is extremely difficult to learn and understand; however, trying to convince people and truly understand people is simply impossible. Everyone is different. If it is literally impossible to try and convince everyone that you have a disagreement with; then instead of arguing, take the time to learn and grow from the situation. Take the time to see the other’s perspective instead of trying to be right.
Thinking about your words will better your life
We will always run into another argument in our life whether it is online, in person, over the phone, or one of the many forms of communication these days. Even though it is eventually inevitable, we can still try to prevent arguments and instead have calm conversations. We should focus more on growing as an individual rather than just being right. When we have conversations, we learn more about the other person, how they think, different viewpoints, and it challenges how we think to grow. Having a conversation instead of an argument will reduce the amount of stress and bitterness in our life. So ultimately, there is truly no reason to not have a conversation than an argument.
